With the completion of the 1940s in my biography of Erle Stanley Gardner, I’m taking a step back and editing the book so far. The thing that I keep reflecting on is how big it is. I’ve been working on this in separate files, so it hasn’t seemed like more than a few pages at a time, but in tying everything together, this book will be, by far, the largest number of pages.

In reflecting on why the page count is so important to me this time around, I’ve been counting the reasons why. I think that the main reason is that the amount of time and effort with this book is exponentially larger than my previous biographies. As a result, I’ve put more of myself into the book, and of course like with any endeavor, putting yourself into it means that the fear of rejection grows as well. It’s painful to think (and I think this about this point in every book) that what if I don’t get this published? I could have spent years on a project that came to naught.

And time is another thing that weighs heavy on my mind. I’ll be 50 in a few weeks, and this birthday is taking a toll on me. I didn’t think that I was the type of person who would be bothered by age, but 50 to me is a killer. So like Gardner did when he wrote in the 1940s, he wanted to leave a legacy, and I see this book as a part of my legacy. I want many more books, which means I have to get back to work! The 1950s and some great interviews with television stars, directors, and producers are ahead for me before the end of the year.