Welcome guest, Penny Warner, author of How to Host a Killer Party and Ladies’ Night

As a mystery writer, I often heard the advice, “Write what you know.” It just so happened that I was looking for a fresh protagonist for my new mystery series and realized this is exactly what I would do—write what I knew…about planning parties. I created Presley Parker, a party planner, assigned her the party of the century—a “surprise” wedding on Alcatraz with a “Ball and Chain” theme, and put her in a picturesque place to host her eventful events—Treasure Island in the middle of the San Francisco Bay. There I’d leave her to sink or swim.

Let’s hope she swims, because her first mystery—and my first book in the series—debuts February 2 with HOW TO HOST A KILLER PARTY. I think that calls for a party. With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, the super-sweet holiday is the perfect theme, but I thought I’d give it a twist. If you’ve recently been dumped by the jerk of all time and now think that Valentine’s Day sucks, here are some of Presley Parker’s Killer tips for hosting a girls-only revenge party.

Begin with invitations. You can simply buy some anti-valentine’s day cards that are popular this time of year, or you can create your own sassy Valentines, using the “Roses are red” formula. First cut a Valentine card in half using a zigzag cut so it looks like a broken heart. Then write a poem to invite your guests, such as, “Roses are red, Violets are blue, Rick is a pig, So let’s kiss him ‘Adieu!’” or “Roses are dead, Love is a lie, Jim is a jerk, Let’s roast the guy!”

Suggest what to wear. Have the guests dress up in their fanciest outfits, their sluttiest clothes, or let them just come as slobs and be comfortable. Alternative: Have T-shirts made with the jerk’s face, circle it with red permanent marker and run a line through it, then pass them out to guests.

Time to Decorate. Hang banners on the wall and write “Valentine’s Day Sucks,” “Men are Pigs,” or “Love Hurts.” Cut out black hearts and write the names of all your evil boyfriends using white pens. Play lady-killer music, such as Shania Twain’s “Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under.” Place a black or chocolate rose at each place setting.
Get your Game on. Play some killer games to keep from actually murdering the guy, such as “Venus vs. Mars.” Write down some question prompts about men, such as, “Why don’t men like to shop?” “Why do men have only three bathroom products?” “Why don’t men like cats?” “Why do men act like children?” “Why don’t men put the toilet seat down?” Have the players write down (funny) answers and read them aloud. Then watch a marathon of chick flicks featuring strong women, such as “Thelma and Louise.”

Time to Eat and Drink. Serve junk food, decadent chocolate desserts, and wash it all down with champagne!

The Party’s Over. Send the girls home with gourmet chocolates, a poster of Tiger Woods, and a good murder mystery.