We’ve been thinking about death this week on The L’il Blog. We mourn our friend, C.R., and we miss him. We will miss him for a long time. Our loss makes me think about life, and living, and what it all means.

I was talking with a friend on Sunday whose wife had died from cancer. He said he came out of that experience with the idea that “through death we learn how to live.” He doesn’t mean that when we die we learn it. From what I understood he means that by losing our loved ones, we learn how to better spend our days. Those who leave us have an experience we cannot understand. Sometimes those who are on the brink of death, but survive, live the rest of their lives with a knowledge the rest of us cannot comprehend. A knowledge that helps them to see what most matters in life, and which are the things can be seen as less important. Tim McGraw, the country artist, says this when he sings, “I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying.”

C.R. was a man who understood those things. He adored his wife, his daughters, and his grandson. He lovingly cared for his parents. He spoke of his extended family and friends with kindness and gratitude. He enjoyed life to the fullest — cooking, traveling, playing with his dogs. And he loved his work. We were fortunate to hear weekly of the things that mattered most to him, and we traveled with him on his journeys, whether they were to the other side of the country with his buddies, or merely to his kitchen to paint the cabinets.

The loss of C.R. reminds me anew of what is important. Just as attending a wedding can make one appreciate anew ones marriage vows, attending a friend’s funeral can make the appreciation of life and family seem brighter and more pressing.

I’ll repeat again C.R.’s words, which he penned in his daughter’s birthday card in 1993:

“Use your gifts, and your disappointments, to make a difference in the lives of others. You will find happiness for yourself along the way. I promise.”

RIP, C.R. We will try to take your lessons to heart.