The Little Blog of Murder - Confessions of Five Ohio Mystery Authors

Do it Anyway

Okay, I admit it. While the rest of the country (except Casey) is watching “Idol Gives Back” I am writing my blog. Sure, I enjoy watching American Idol. I have my favorite singers, and definite non-favorites (most of whom are gone by now), and get a kick out of Ryan snubbing Simon, and Randy talking like a freak. But three nights in one week? Come on, folks, I’ve got to get something else done.

Now for my real subject…

My mom took the kids and me out to eat tonight to a fast food restaurant with a playground. The restaurant will remain anonymous, as that is not what matters. What does matter is this:

“I made a new friend,” my son says.
“Oh, yeah?” I say. “What’s his name?”
“Um…I can’t remember.”

This scenario has played out so many times in my son’s eight years I can’t count them. For my daughter, too. It’s amazing. They enter a bright red plastic tunnel, climb twenty feet, meet another kid or two in the pretend helicopter, and suddenly they’re playing tag, helping the littler ones up to the next platform, and shrieking with joy like they’ve known each other all their lives.

And the parents? We sit at our separate tables, eating our fries and checking our watches, hoping our kids don’t hit, bite, or scare one of the other children. We might smile at another parent, if something especially amusing happens, or commiserate if someone falls and bumps their nose, but it’s not like we pull up a chair and begin conversation. It’s not like we make new friends.

But why not? What makes a child so much more open to sudden friendship? What makes up their freedom? Absence of emotional baggage? Lack of pretense? The fact that there is no expectation of living beyond the moment?

Whatever it is…I’m sorry we, as adults, have lost it.

Martina McBride tells us that we “can love someone with all your heart for all the right reasons, and in a moment they can choose to walk away. Love ‘em anyway.”

Maybe that’s what kids are doing. They can make a friend in a second that they might never see again. They make friends anyway.

I love that. Can we, as adults, apply that to our lives, with all of our fears, inhibitions, and stubbornness?

Why not?

I think I’ll try today.

12 Responses to “Do it Anyway”

Judy,
I guess that I must still be a child because I make friends without names daily and hopefully will never have to grow up and stop. Some of my nameless friends turn into named friends and others just pass in and out of my life, usually leaving a fond memory behind.

by Kim on April 10th, 2008 at 5:12 am
What a great gift, Kim. I hope everyone you meet takes that attitude and pays it forward to someone else.

by Judy on April 10th, 2008 at 6:18 am
Judy, making the first move is the tough part — will they be friendly back? Will they reject me with a cold stare? Next time try this: Lean toward them, smile broadly and ask, “Are you going to finish those fries?”

by C.R. on April 10th, 2008 at 6:24 am
Really good post Judy.

I remember back a few years on my first cruise. I happened to be walking along the Promenade deck and without going into details, wound up in a Beauty Pageant where a team of ladies dressed a number of guys up in women’s clothing and we had to parade around the big theater to the tune, “Feel Like A Woman.”

Okay, so all the other guys had “portly” women in their group and all the women in my group were on the petite side, so while they were all dressed in spacious housedresses, I had a very short and tight sundress - hairy back, legs and all. I might add that I was sober through all this.

Besides the fact that I won the contest, something that my daughters will forever be embarrassed about, I had my moment of fun and I thought that would be it…..NOT!

I woke up the next day, turned on the ships TV and there I was, parading down the isles, dancing, etc. They played that tape constantly during the rest of the cruise.

A long story to say, I made a lot of temporary friends during the next few days and had a blast. It gave me a reason to go out of my way to just chat with people I didn’t know. Sorry for boring you all, but that story always leaves me with a smile. Thanks for stirring up fond memories, Judy.

by Wilfred Bereswill on April 10th, 2008 at 7:16 am
So, Wilfred my man, you got any pictures you can post?

by C.R. on April 10th, 2008 at 7:26 am
Wilfred, we must hear more about this! Truly sounds like the scene out of a book.

And Judy, you’re right, we’re all afraid to be rejected so rather than take chances, we stay within ourselves. We’re missing out on a lot, I’m sure.

by Casey on April 10th, 2008 at 8:03 am
There is a VHS tape, somewhere in my house that was purchased from Carnival Cruiselines. Probably something for You-Tube, but it may very well take a LONG time to find.

It was like putting 100 lbs of potatos in a 50 lb sack.

There is an interesting sidebar to this. Two years later, we sailed on the Carnival Conquest out of New Orleans. We went to the past cruisers party. I spotted the Cruise Director immediately in the reception line. I poked my wife and said, “That’s the woman who ran the beauty pageant on the last cruise.”

When I shook her hand, she gave me an odd look and asked if we had met before. All I said was, “Fantasy (the ship’s name) beauty pageant.” She almost fell on the floor laughing. She remembered. She said it was the first and only time any guy in that skit got dressed in such a short, skimpy outfit.

I’ll keep the video until we all meet over a beer or ten.

by Wilfred Bereswill on April 10th, 2008 at 9:06 am
Judy;
I make friends daily. My wife often makes the comment that when we go out I talk more to strangers than I talk to her. And I think C.R. makes the best point of all. If you make the effort, really put yourself out there, you just might get free food.

by Don on April 10th, 2008 at 9:12 am
I remember when my father-in-law used to call, looking for Zorro. I’d say something like, “He’s at the West Side Market,” and my f-i-l would always say, “You better hope nobody said hello to him. He’ll start talking, and be gone all day.”

Who??? Zorro???

by Casey on April 10th, 2008 at 10:54 am
I’m with Kim in that I’ve never lost that ability to just pick up friends.

Maybe it’s the military lifestyle, but whatever it is, it still works.

by Marissa on April 10th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
My late Aunt Dorothy used to strike up endless conversations with strangers. And my uncle Corwin would just close his eyes and take a standing-up nap until the stranger got away.

by C.R. on April 10th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
I’ve had issues with making new friends…..ever since that concealed weapon law thing came about.
Guess people must think I’m packin some iron.
Zz

by Zorro on April 10th, 2008 at 3:43 pm

Do it Anyway

12 Responses to “Do it Anyway”

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