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My friend Lorraine Bartlett wrote a blog on March 4 about friendship in the writing world. She says she was told by a successful blogger that if one wants to be successful in the writing business one must be ruthless. You must surround yourself with successful people, and if they become a hindrance, you cut them off. In other words, don’t let others drag you down.
What bunch of crap. (Not Lorraine’s blog — she feels very much about friendship as I do, as you will see)
I got into the writing biz because I love to write. No, let me rephrase that. I got into the writing biz because I have to write. And because I have to, it’s fortunate that I also love it.
I also love the people in the writing world. Of course you have some rotten apples, as in any group, but the vast majority of folks in the mystery world, especially, are wonderful. (note all of the lovely folks on this blog)
Why in the world would I want to be ruthless? To climb the ladder? To get rich? To be successful? Say I was ruthless, and I made it to the NYT bestseller list because I was. Could I live with myself? Would I have any friends left? I think not.
I like having friends. I like supporting other writers. If being “successful” means cutting off my friends, where is the joy in that?
A good life is full of joy. And while being successful certainly can provide joy, it should not provide it at the expense of other people.
I know I’ve told Don this on one of our car trips, and I’ll say it again now: when writing becomes something that holds no joy for me, that isn’t fun anymore…I’ll stop. Because life is about doing good things, supporting other people, and pursuing excellence in whatever you do.
It’s not about being successful at all costs.
So yes, I will do what I can to succeed. But I’ll do it by working hard, accepting constructive criticism, learning all I can, and accepting and providing support from other writers.
Because that’s what it’s all about.
**currently re-reading the Mrs. Pollifax series by Dorothy Gilman. Some of my favorites of all time**
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Dogged, yes. Ruthless, no
That ruthless stuff is indeed crappola.
The book world is full of warm and wonderful peple. Not so much Zorro. But pretty much everyone else.
by C.R.
on March 13th, 2008 at 6:35 am
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Thinking more about successful, warm people. I’ve heard stories different times of how lovely Mary Higgins Clark is, and how she goes out of her way to be kind and generous. I’d say she’s pretty successful…
by Judy
on March 13th, 2008 at 6:50 am
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I’m relatively new to the world of writing. I’ve met a few writers along the way, some ruthless, but most warm and generous.
With that said, one of the people I met along the way, a mystery author, came across as one of the ruthless ones, yet it turns out she was as generous as they come. The gruff exterior may be there, but a heart of gold was beneath it.
I guess the old saying about not being able to judge a book by its cover comes from.
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When I get to the top, I will forget Zorro. I will pretend I never met him.
The rest of you, I’ll toss crumbs from the heap. Then again, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.
DB
by don
on March 13th, 2008 at 8:09 am
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Wilfred: The gruff female mystery writer you are referring to is obviously Judy.
Don: I’ve grown to love crumbs.
by C.R.
on March 13th, 2008 at 8:19 am
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THIS JUST IN …..
HINT, HINT, HINT …….
Next Monday when I write about agents I will be saying especially nice things about one in particular on the Left Coast who handles film options.
by C.R.
on March 13th, 2008 at 8:23 am
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CR,
How’d you guess?
Actually, I’ve never met Judy, so, it wasn’t her.
Oh, and in that agent blog next week, be nice to that agent for me too. I offer cases of beer in compensation and I’ll personally drive them over to Ohio and deliver them.
I’m not above groveling.
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Exciting news, CR! Can’t wait to hear what’s goin’ on.
And I don’t think anybody’s ever described me as gruff. But then, there’s always a first time…
by Judy
on March 13th, 2008 at 8:51 am
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Gruff? Did I say gruff?
I meant buff.
by C.R.
on March 13th, 2008 at 9:02 am
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Oh, well that’s much better. A lie, but better.
by Judy
on March 13th, 2008 at 10:40 am
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Aw, and here I thought this post was going to be about one of my favorite movies: Ruthless People! (Starring Danny Devito (sp?) and Bette Midler.)
Good post, though, with a good point. I try to be friendly with everyone (hey, I’m a Midwestern gal and it’s what we were reared to do), but I make sure all my friendships in and out of the writing biz are *truly* friendships… I’d be friends with these folks no matter where we were in our careers.
I just like sleeping at night!
But… I do recommend the movie Ruthless People.
by Sharon
on March 13th, 2008 at 10:43 am
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Great movie. I remember almost falling out of my seat at the movie theater many years ago. I had to wait for the VHS to come out to hear all the lines. It’s hard to listen while you have diet coke coming from your nostrils.
In keeping with the tone of this post, a quote from the movie:
“I mean, what the hell’s the point of being a decent person when no-one is?”
Okay, more quotes:
Muffy, meet Adolf.
Adolf eat Muffy.
Barbara: So, when do I get out of here?
Sandy: As soon as Mr. Stone pays the ransom.
Barbara: What’s the problem? What is the ransom?
Sandy: Well, we asked for $500,000.
Barbara: That should be no problem.
Sandy: He wouldn’t pay.
Barbara: He wouldn’t pay?
Sandy: Then we asked him for $50,000.
Barbara: Yeah?
Sandy: He still wouldn’t pay. So now we’re lowering our price to $10,000.
Barbara: Do I understand this correctly? I’m being marked down? I’ve been kidnapped by K-Mart!
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Many of my good friends are folks I’ve met in the writing business. I treasure those people, and those friendships. That being said, sure, there are rotten apples. I find some genres attract them more than others. I’ve met nothing but nice folks in the mystery genre. Warm, generous, caring.
And CR…can’t wait to hear your news! With the cost of a movie ticket and a box of popcorn, I’d better start saving now!
by Casey
on March 13th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
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That’s both incredibly asinine and narrow minded on their part to say something like that.
by Marissa
on March 13th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
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You mean about being ruthless, Marissa? Or CR saying I’m buff? : )
by Judy
on March 13th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
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Being ruthless.
I try to avoid insulting those who are taller than me. They have longer legs, than can catch me. (My husband is exempt in that, despite being 6′1. We’re married, we’re allowed to be rough with each other)
by Marissa
on March 13th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
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Who is this Zorro guy???
RAD
by RAD
on March 13th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
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Some hanger on of Casey’s.
by C.R.
on March 13th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
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Wow, went back over the past blog entries….for a ways back….this Zorro guy sound swell. Like he may be a friend of Judy’s…..he sound good enough to be a good friend of Judy’s.
It looks like he’s a Neil Young and Doors fan and she likes good old Tom Petty…..again, he sounds like a good guy….no, great guy….no, like a fox hole kind of guy!
I’d sure like to meet him someday.
RAD
by RAD
on March 13th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
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Oh yeah, what is it you don’t like about this Zorro character?
RAD
by RAD
on March 13th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
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Great post, Judy! I have to say, in my short time in the writing world, I’ve met quite a few very nice people (thanks for the suggestion to join Guppies - GREAT GROUP).
It’s going to be quite awhile before I join the ranks of published author (who knows, maybe never) but the interaction with so many other creative and wonderful people is well worth the effort!
by Kenna
on March 17th, 2008 at 9:02 am
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